Since the last rant, I gave in to my inhibitions. I had been following almost religiously my inner “I should” talk – “I should blog”, “I should clean”, “I should do…” – and it was driving me bonkers. So I did everything but. I did crochet, I listened to audiobooks, I drew and enjoyed being creative with my bullet journal.
After a while, “I-should’s” quieted down and I found myself really wanting to write. My mind started to ponder around new post ideas, even post series – and my love for the actual art of keeping a blog was awaken again.
I am ambitious, and very demanding of myself. With my Finnish blog and this relatively new English blog I have a lot of presuppositions of my own work and its achievements. As a perfectionist, none of my posts can be half-heartedly done – it’s a full blast of accelerator or nothing. So with this in mind it’s easy to understand how I can overdo a hobby like blogging and drive myself to hyperventilation with it.
Currently I’m making conscious effort to slow down and not to expect too much of myself. I’m making no exact plans and if my mind oggles on a “I should blog” – thought, I will steer away from a laptop and force myself to do something else creative instead. This is for my own sake – and with his in mind, there is no quarantine there will be a blog post a week or a month. I hope you understand.